All I want for Christmas

Is Das Keyboard.

It’s heroism is only rivaled by Stephen Colbert

Kevvie Rudd: Use this Campaign Picture, Darling

It’s cheaper than those ads you’ve been running for workchoices and FAR more effective.

I’m definitely appealing to the UN

Those of you that read the news I’m sure were utterly shocked at finding this today:

The Spice Girls officially announced today that all five original members will reunite and perform for 11 concerts around the world in December and January. The concerts will be the first time they’ve performed together since breaking up in 2001, and they’re expected to make about $20 million each. Which is nice, because I think most of them were getting sick of eating cat food and sleeping in dumpsters. Besides Posh, have any of them done anything except become old and unemployed? If this thing falls through I just hope Wal-Mart lets them have their jobs back.

Source: The Superficial

So we can get the Spice Girls back together and we can get Pink Floyd back together for Live 8 or whatever that Geldofian monstrosity is, but we can’t get the Beatles back together?

The British are pissweak.

Fuck the SRC, I’m appealing to the UN

Found this interesting little easter egg on the course outline for a subject I’m doing next semester:

Students can provide feedback for this UoS by talking to lecturer, in UoS assessments and Staff-Students liaison meetings. Additionally, you may approach, with feedback about this UoS, either the lecturer, your year representatives, your year adviser, the Departmental Director of Undergraduate Studies, the Head of Department, the Dean of Engineering, the Pro-vice Chancellor of the College, the Vice-Chancellor of The University, The University Senate, the State Legislature, the Commmonwealth Legislature, or failing successively each of these, the United Nations Court of Civil Rights.

Unionist Tools Embarrass Rudd Once Again

OPPOSITION Leader Kevin Rudd has been embarrassed by accusations from a major union that the US is a terrorist state – and the emergence of another video allegedly showing CFMEU thugs threatening employers.

It seems poor Kevin is fast discovering that, while it may be good in a campaign funding sense, being leader of the political wing of the union movement does have its drawbacks, namely that it means you can’t disassociate yourself from these troglodytes no matter how hard you try.

Come election time all the Coalition needs to do is show some of these videos and ask if the community want such loud, abusive bogans representing them in the workplace, and the answer will be a resounding no.
Source

Alcohol bans may extend to Darwin

ALCOHOL restrictions could be introduced in Darwin and other Northern Territory centres to curb abuse among indigenous people visiting from remote communities.
Ahead of a meeting with John Howard in Brisbane today, Northern Territory Chief Minister Clare Martin flagged increased controls on the sale of alcohol…

Okay, I was somewhat upset at the method the Government has chosen to deal with the abuse problems in indigenous communities because they do not attack the root of the problem (welfare), but I’ll write something substantial about that tomorrow afternoon. This new suggestion really incenses me, though, because it’s enacting prohibition on a reasonably sized and highly concentrated group of people, and this has a large number of consequences, including:

• Where there is demand, there will always be a supply, albeit at a higher price. This just means that a higher percentage of people’s income goes towards alcohol, and less goes towards food, shelter and other things.
• Increased levels of organised crime, with the huge profits made by these groups on alcohol sales being funnelled into other forms of crime.
• If people cannot access alcohol, they are more likely to try other drugs to get their fix

Hopefully the Liberals remain true to their founding principles on this one and refuse the suggestion offhand, as it’s an absolutely ridiculous and illiberal one.

Source

Rove McManus to pursue US career

This article in The Australian tells us that Rove has signed up with a US talent agency with a view to hosting a talk show over there. One would think that by now the talentless hacks of this country would’ve realised that there’s an ALP preselection there waiting for them, and should they choose to take it they can be annoying douchebags across all five channels, which is surely more lucrative than the prospect of licking peanut butter off a hooker’s back as your sole form of sustenance because you’ve squandered the rest of your welfare cheque on drugs to forget about the dismal failure that was “Rove: Live (in America!)”.

I’m by no means a cowardly man

But there is one thing that I fear more than a Trotskyite bear holding a shark while singing Mandy Moore songs, and that is having my ELEC course website break the night before my exam.

EDIT: It was a browser compatibility issue, because the scum at EE never anticipated such HTML/CSS compliance as mine displays. Ergo, Firefox comes in useful for something other than internet banking. Victory.

The Elderly are Well Hung

I’m sure many of you, the heroes, own Televisions, which means, I assume, you watch the contents therein. Of late the NSW RTA has sought to waste a metric fuckton of cash on an advertisement that makes less sense than the drunk ramblings of a past NSW Premier. It seems that in all of their wisdom (Apart from promoting drink driving through their moronic Peer Passenger Restriction legislation) they’ve decided to really tackle the intellectual fervor that surrounds the notion of speeding. By directly implying those that speed are incapacitated in the penile department. These poor folk merely seek redemption through their enhanced velocity, making up for their own inadequacies with a rapid spurting of petroleum and a slick of burned rubber on the road. However, in all of their infinitesimal wisdom, the RTA has forgotten that their moronic drivel and bilious vomitus has an equally hilarious corollary. It is that those that drive at the speed limit or beneath it are bequeathed from god himself the phallic proportions of every hero of pornographic tale.

MATLAB: Designed by Stalin himself?

I think it’s clear that the answer is yes. On the bright side it is my last exam and it is going to be over by about 4pm tomorrow.