Shacklebeast

Who… who does this?! Who thinks “Well I can draw, so I’ll draw… THAT rather than turn my talent to drawing manga porn like the rest of my talented freak friends”

A Tangential Aside

I know that we usually don’t post this kind of thing, but I feel it is more than appropriate that, sometimes, to a degree, we are exposed to the morale-damaging notion that our kindred are not invincible

http://blogs.gettyimages.com/news/2007/05/30/memorial-day-at-arlington-national-cemetery/

I urge all of you to read it. I honestly think it’d be for the best. Though our society may be built on the finest of ideas, our ideas become flesh when we seek to defend them (or in this instance, proselytise them).

Seeing the Light

Permanent Fixture

Forgive me, David.

Authorised Tim Andrews, Liberal Party, Sydney.

Bellicose Blather

Protip: If you actually refer to Kevin Rudd as “Prime Dickhead” I have a simple and quick recipe for you. Mix two parts you with one part fast-moving inter-city train. Add a splash of realisation of mortality and leave to sit until an underpaid cleanup crew gently convinces your rapidly drying remains to relieve themselves of their rail-centric bonds.

It’s not as if this comedy of errors we call the ‘factional response to political change’ has been enough, it seems we are to be inundated with faux-intelligent monocultural ignoramuses hell-bent on making joke groups on facebook (or for the more culturally-oriented; in small café’s) about the integrity and quality of a Rudd PM. There, I’ve said it, it’s over. If you can’t deal with having to learn the name of a New Prime Minister, you have serious issues with rationality, humanity and the underlying concepts of information retention. My course of treatment? A thorough application and analysis of the underlying physics of yourself-ground interactions when compelled from a great height. Excuse me if I’ve just interrupted a consistent echo-chamber of indulgent miasmic onanism that seems to have been stewed in its own brand of cliquish ignorance for such a period of time that the individual participants are literally ecstatic with joy whilst trying to catch each other’s ejaculate in their braying mouths.

You might be snorting with indignation at this point, having just hastily clicked the “Accept” button on a group on Facebook with the title “I won’t call Kevin Rudd PM I’ll call him Earthen ButtFart to better Convey my level of angst at the current political situation”. That’s all well and good, but you my friend have a thing known as a ‘party line political allegiance’. Were someone higher in the polity/party to say jump you would quickly draft a press release about the height of the jump and how comparatively, your opposition has not even begun to jump and their planned jump is paltry in comparison with your olympian vector.

That said and done I’ve learned a very important lesson over the last few weeks; political allegiances are about as safe and as useful as Hasbro™’s ‘Chokables – The infuriatingly small but unresponsive to natural reflux, plastic doodads’ around a group of existential and suicidal three and four year olds. They serve little to no purpose, they often make you hate yourself, and at the end there’s a dead kid and a bunch of angry policemen looking for answers.

I try to have some sort of reason for everything that I write, otherwise this whole didactic and one way nonsensical stream of utter gibberish goes to utter shit and ends up with me sitting in the corner with a half-eaten dictionary and a tank of nitrous talking about fake Korans.

If there is any form of message in this poorly-scribed madness, it is this; wake up to yourselves you bunch of self-indulgent priapic, genetic addendums. If you’re supposed to be the sane ones that wake up to the insanities of the mindless echo-chamber self-indulgence of the most left wing of the left wing, why are you letting yourselves fall into the same nonsensical trap?

If you want to convince those that aren’t party faithful that you are the true and the brave, on the straight and narrow then stop falling into the same idiotic habits as your opposition.

Otherwise we’re left with the nonsensical gruntings of idiots on both halves of the political stage, and then we’re well and truly fucked.

EDIT: Also, Justin’s in Melbourne for a few days, so you know what kids, Fuck David Clarke. He’s a moronic Fat Cunt that is trying to enforce his narrowminded idiotic views onto a group of people that are resisting it.

David, you singlehandedly lost the Liberals the State election and the current abysmal state of NSW rests entirely on your head. I hope serving God was worth it; you crackpot fuck. I give it ten or fifteen years until you Religious Right cum-splashes realise the indelible stain you leave on modern politics certainly isn’t admirable. You and your kind are the watered down excreta of a baseless, thoughtless class of arbitrarily-bemoraled drones whose only true victory will be the obvious expunging of your genetic dross through the Darwinism you so hopelessly bemoan.

Monosyllabic Muckraking!

We’re back after a sojurn to Melbourne. Yes, that’s right, check Landeryou for the whole situation. Interestingly enough the Melbourne Young Liberals are about as mentally balanced and as physiologically damaging as tertiary syphilis. Aspersions on their possession of long-incubated STI’s aside, I’ve returned to the greatest City in the land, Sydney, only to be confronted with a maelstrom of bullshit bordering on a tsunami in a portaloo.

Let us begin.

Authorities will have powers to conduct body searches, confiscate vehicles and evict people from World Youth Day events.

State Parliament has invoked powers similar to those introduced during the Asia-Pacific Economic Co-operation forum this year and the Olympics in 2000, giving police and other officials control over a range of issues, from air space to unauthorised advertising.

The World Youth Day Amendment Bill was passed last week to smooth the way for the visit of Pope Benedict XVI during the Catholic Church’s six-day youth pilgrimage in July.

It grants the Catholic Church unrestricted access to Randwick Racecourse for the closing papal Mass, which the church estimates will be attended by up to 500,000 international and Australian Catholic pilgrims.

The bill goes beyond access guarantees, with the inclusion of a controversial clause that can delegate power from Parliament to the Government. It allows the State Government to introduce regulations that permit police and private security guards to conduct searches of pilgrims and their bags, and any cars at World Youth Day sites, and bar entry to anyone.

I’ll allow you to let that sink in. APEC, and GWB’s lance through the heart of our right to, you know, walk around unimpeded aside, it appears that the Hat-Wearing ÜberCatholic himself Pope Benedict XVI has been left so unprotected by the furious will of the Lord that it’s been left up to timid Boris to do Christ’s dirty work for him.

My honest answer (And I’m sorry for all the cheap shots) is what directives do the police have against the pilgrims? Are all Condoms and Hormonal Pills to be confiscated as part of the iron fist of an irate deity? Will the fines be commuted if the guilty say their rosary several times? If you feel earnestly sorry about your egregious infraction of reactionary law-lavishing (ED: As the parliament En-Cunts the police [Dictionary: In, or relating to the process of promoting cunt-like behaviour]) will the police be forced to forgive you and tear up their gleefully scrawled ticket?

More on this to come, oh and yeah the article came from the SMH, you know this, I know this, it’s pretty much the best fucking paper in the country except for the Australian, so live with it.

Tokenistic Gesture #307

Yay, Kyoto. We’ve signed it. But we’ve got to wait until the UN Ratifies it, but we’ve signed it, even though we were on track to meet those targets, but we’ve signed it.

We’re also going to send Indigenous Australians a Hallmark card wishing them “Great Sorrow UnJoy at the Passing of their Much Repentance.” It’s necessary for the Government to get past this elephant in the room, but I think whatever carefully worded statement Ruddkip throws out will just seek to really really piss off Indigenous community members. Think the guy’s capable of saying the word “Sorry”? He can barely say the word condoms.

One journalist decided to try to make safe sex the story of the day, and began going through a list of questions about condoms. What did Mr Rudd tell his own children when they were growing up about safe sex? What did he think of condoms generally?

…

So he responded with a classic Ruddism. Ignoring the guffaws of several members of the travelling press bus, Rudd talked about “effective AIDS-prevention-mechanism contraceptives along the lines you describe”. There was no way that was going to make it to air, and Mr Rudd had, yet again, succeeded in keeping his day’s campaign on message.

I cannot stand that form of answer, why Ronan Sharkey didn’t call ‘bullshit’ is beyond me.

Yes, I know this is rehashed content-less material, but I feel it’s in my best interests to regularly update this blog with things that aren’t just blatant party-based hit-pieces.

Idiocy must be punished, and I’m looking forward to Rudd’s world-leading plan for tackling Climate Change. I’m a huge fan of Solar, Wave, Wind, all that jazz what with knowing how it works [Ask a greens kid or any of the getup kids to explain generation and the photovoltaic effect to you, they’ll stumble over the answer as much as getup pretends to be non-partisan] but any Climate Change solution that doesn’t include the truest of all forms of power Nuclear fucking Energy, won’t meet base load and will be even more of an impotent gesture. Nuclear energy is free non-dangerous power (Handy hint for those playing along at home Coal is more radioactive than Nuclear!) what done make gobs of delicious energy for our fat devices to slurp down.

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Also, I was listening to the Hack podcast again and there was a segment from some “Youth Activist” currently in Bali for the Youth ‘Climate change caucus’. She made a comment that actually made me burst out laughing:

We were great at, throwing aside our political causes and committing to action. Youth are really great at action. We’re going to speak to and get the government to commit to our ideas.

Woo, action! A non-binding but vitriolic personal commitment to try and force misunderstood and impassioned knowledge of base psuedoscience on proper adults. Though I’d have to say that the current Government may be slightly more in favour of listening to the idiotic ramblings of more NUS-like-types.

Cry havoc and let loose the dogs of policy by collectivist groupthink!

Rudd’s ‘mandate’ to remove WorkChoices

There’s been a lot of fuss made over the last week or so about whether or not the Coalition should vote in favour of Comrade Gillard’s proposed changes to the WorkChoices legislation, based on the supposition that they have a mandate to do so. There are a few problems with this argument:

1. Coalition Senators (and indeed local MPs) were elected by their constituents based on the policies outlined by their parties. WorkChoices was one of these policies. They would be doing a disservice to those who voted for them to allow the ALP to roll it back without putting up some semblance of a fight.
2. If we look back to 1998 (the election which was effectively a referendum on the GST), where the Coalition won a majority of seats in the House of Reps, one would think that by the logic presented by Rudd in 2007 that they had a mandate to implement a GST. But it seems that earwax eating wasn’t the only thing Kevin did in parliament that year, he also voted against the GST, as did every other Labor MP in both houses.

I’ll conclude by stating that mandate theory is a load of shit. If ‘mandates’ based on HoR seats won were the way parliament is supposed to decide to pass or reject legislation, then we wouldn’t have a Senate.