Harry Potter is Bullshit.

So I went and saw the latest Harry Potter movie ( Don’t worry I also read the books so I know that when snape and dumbledore talk Snape is the one that Killed Dumbledore and thus I should inform people around me of this fact to make sure they’re all well informed). I have two things to say about Magical Society.

1. Fences need to be brought up more often at Budgetary committees
2. Those motherfuckers really restrict guns.

I’ll address point one first. At part of the movie sirius moves through a giant gate of doom that is quite seriously a portal to death. For some reason the geniuses in government decided to create a giant portal to the doom zone. In an open room.

And not surround it with a fucking fence. Now I’m not talking a giant monolithic fence made from wrought iron and the crushed dreams of toddlers crossed with dolphins, I’m talking about a simple picket fence. Maybe a sign “Warning, entrance through this arch may cause immediate loss of life and other related subsidiaries.” Not that hard. Fairly simple. If you want any argument for Libertarianism, it’s the fact that the ministry of Magic is so absolutely retarded they can’t even protect fugitives from gateways to death. I mean, come on. They have QUITE LITERALLY A GATEWAY TO DEATH. AND THEY DON’T PUT A FENCE UP AROUND IT. JUST A SIMPLE FENCE. A SIMPLE GODDAMN SIGN. It’s not much.

I mean it sounds like the budgetary Committees go something like this: “Alastair, I think we should easily put some form of fence around that gateway we have that kills People” ‘Dirigible, you’re out of your mind, you’re like some free spending Socialist!”  “But Alastair, I invented the spell ‘Spendingus Reducto”. “Your points will be heard… in time. For now. OSTRICHES”

As you can see I lost the way halfway through that poignant reflection on the magic that exists in reality, but for now, it stands. The ministry of magic are a bunch of morons. Seriously, just fence off dangerous shit. It’s what stops me from having to pull dead toddlers out of my pool (That I don’t drown).

POINT TWO FOR ALL OF YOU WHO NEED DIRECTION

Wizards are absolutely fucking weak. I know they have some mad avada kedavra spell that kills shit instantaneously but that takes seriously 18 years to say. if I see some wizard even LOOK like he’s making an “A” sound, I’m knocking out the nearest cop on the ground(Easier than it sounds, those cunts fall down more than Justice Kirby in a Bukkake) taking his pistol (A Glock 20, btw) from him, and shooting that deranged homeless geezer in the face. All this shit with Voldemort in Harry potter hasn’t been dealt with properly. Yeah sure you have a mad wand that can cast spells. I have a mad MP5 that can cast RIDICULOUS AMOUNTS OF AMMUNITION… into your face… killing you pretty much instantly.

Joanne, seriously, what is the spell, is it “AMMUNUS REFLECTO”. Because that’s not even good latin, and seriously, if some cunt pulled that on me. I would pistol whip his nose so hard he’d have a flatter face than Julia Gillard’s chest. And THAT is saying something.