Hero of the Day 22/2/08

Just when you thought nobody could top Huckabee for religious fundamentalism, this nutfuck comes along and proves everyone wrong:

AN Israeli politician has blamed a spate of recent earthquakes in the Middle East on gays
Shlomo Benizri of the ultra-Orthodox Jewish Shas Party said the only way to prevent the earthquakes was for parliament to stop liberalising laws concerning homosexuals, AP reported.

Gay on.

Inflation and World Vision

We’re still being asked for a dollar a day, as are the kids in the states.

Barack Obama introduced this bill in the states:

S.2433 : A bill to require the President to develop and implement a comprehensive strategy to further the United States foreign policy objective of promoting the reduction of global poverty, the elimination of extreme global poverty, and the achievement of the Millennium Development Goal of reducing by one-half the proportion of people worldwide, between 1990 and 2015, who live on less than $1 per day.

Is it just me thinking that this is going to be a certainty not of wealth but of Inflation? Given how weak the US dollar has become, surely those in Africa will have to move onto $2 US a day in order to survive?

B&N Bounty #1

Okay, so here’s the deal.

The person that brings me the head of the person responsibile for the perpetuation of Japanese whaling gets a million dollars.

1,000,000.

One Million.

No shitting you.

Parasites.

You are fully aware who you are. Watch in dazzling technicolour as all three hundred of you baying simpletons rush towards canberra tomorrow, all in line to be the first to fellate the new MP, the overlord of the Right. You all dream to yourselves a dazzling kaleidoscope of tongue lolling one-upmanship. Your own moronic aspirations so crushed in a delectable irony as you gently tongue the scrotum of the man who would be king. All of you lumpen masses crushing into hired cars running to the border to be the first to provide any number of services to those who would destroy you and crush you merely for fun. Your service is not recognised, it is not lauded, it is parodied, it is laughed aside.

Your willingness to sacrifice whatever fleeting morals or individualism you have grasped to yourself during the purges destroys whatever creduility you think raises you above the others. Your own desperate scramble to be the first individual to congratulate, to curry favour, to beg makes you all the more pathetic.

Yet as you vampiric scum ascend upon our nation’s capital, hell bent on treading in the footsteps of your new God, think carefully. For whatever aspersions you have about the purity and sacrosanct nature of democracy and the representative process, your own plebian machinations slowly putrify the actual representative nature of the precepts we hold so delectably self evident.

So while you prospectors sell both life and limb to sell your souls, think to yourselves for a second, what do you stand to gain? A mediocre salary in a thankless job where the public thinks you are out to fuck them again and again? Do not, even for a second, kid yourself into thinking politicians hold any power, because that is, if anything naievly and laughably false.

If you rush to the Capital tomorrow, by hook, or indeed as most of you will, by crook, think not of what you stand to gain. But what your own integrity stands to lose. You so grotesquely suckle at the teet of self aggrandising nothingness that only a nihilist would be incompetent enough to see power in the rorschach pattern that is the life you have condemned your own talents to.

– Dan (Who is not Justin) [It’s funnier because I have far more money than all of you right wing puppets and I’m going to pay you to do my bidding, and fuck me if you’re not going to like it.]

I was saying Boo-Urns

I will, as in all situations, assume that this man molests children.

Seriously, though, this man is Duncan Hunter. The guy that were in all those polls. Actually, at this stage, fuck the Republicans.

We have McBain in the lead there with his “I no know economics no money I follow orsarma to the gates of Hell” geriatric bullshit. Wow it’s tiresome.

Wow I actually noticed I don’t care about American Politice.What I do care about is awesome webcomic winning nature ness.

Here is for you:

Jeffery Rowland is kick ass. http://www.overcompensating.com

On whose behalf are we apologising?

Let’s ignore all debates about whether it was right or wrong to take children from their parents, whether anyone can name 10 people to whom this was done or whether this ultimately led to a better life for those children in question. These actions were carried out by State governments prior to 1967 (the year when the Federal government gained the power to make laws relating to Aboriginals), and all State and Territory governments have apologised. The Federal parliament cannot apologise on its own behalf, because it hasn’t done anything wrong. It can’t apologise on behalf of past Federal parliaments, because they weren’t the ones responsible for such actions. It certainly can’t apologise on behalf of me, because the actions happened before I was born.

Who, then, is this apology on behalf of?

American Primary Future Winner

First order of business: Mendoza.

Bono’s Manager To ISP’s: “Stop Downloading!” ISP’s to Manager “Fuck off you muppet”

So it’d appear that the manager of the second coming of Jesus Christ (Not a latter day saint) is all up in ire because some people are apparently pirating U2’s music, stopping him from adding extra pillars of gold onto his luxurious mansion as the SMH reports:

The long-time manager of rock band U2 has lashed out at internet providers for resisting calls by the music industry to pull the plug on users who illegally download songs.

At a music industry conference in France, Paul McGuinness said internet service providers (ISPs) and technology companies had “enjoyed a bonanza” in the last few years by accepting fees from illegal downloaders while doing nothing to prevent them from stealing music.

“Their snouts have been at our trough feeding free for too long,” said McGuinness, who has managed U2 for 30 years and is a highly respected industry figure.

Hey, here’s a suggestion! How about you take the hit on the lost revenue because of how much in tax you’re saving due to moving the production arm of the business to Holland!

Hypocritical Twat

Shit frontman of a shit band.

If you actually willingly listen to and like U2, you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself.

Drivel whilst trapped and Bored

I’ve been at Uni today forced to do an utterly useless subject for Engineering that is supposed to be ‘teaching effective writing’. We’re learning basic grammar. It’s atrocious. We’re being taught when to use each of the three “there, their or they’re”‘s. Anyway, whilst I was supposed to write a cover letter for a Resume, I wrote this instead.

 Dearest Sir,

I was startled to see the article “Rain, the final frontier of socialism” (13/1) whilst well written had no reference to the post-Chomskyist nature of fluid collectivism. As an avid student of the well-hydrated economic school, I found this reckless oversight to be most alarming in a publication such as yours. The author, Iron Waterford, seems to have perplexingly avoided the core philosophies of distributed agrarian irrigation and presents his own foundational teachings that are as anti-human and disturbingly pragmatic as evaporative liberalism! I hope that in all future articles about the palliative solidarity of comrade raindrop the correct degree of academic liquidity is maintained. I will be examining each future article closely to make sure they brim with approved accuracy and contain not a drop of irony.

Moderatingly Yours,

Nelson Dihidrogenmonoxide

I am soul-crushingly bored.

The best candidate the Democrats have….

Both the Republicans and Democrats should have Ron Paul as their candidate… anything else is just suicide

Hope for America, hope for the world…

Also I’m still alive, just seething privately… I promise to try and bring out my seething as much as possible for the world to see as soon as possible